There is nothing wrong with setting boundaries, you may disappoint someone, but in the end you are showing the courage to put yourself first. Setting clear individual boundaries is crucial to ensuring that relationships are mutually respectful, caring and supportive.
Boundaries are basically a measure of self-worth. They set limits for acceptable behavior from people around you, they determine whether those close to you feel that they can put you down, take advantage of your friendly nature, make fun or simply respect you for who you are.
Clear cut boundaries are a reflection of how we love ourselves and what we value the most. They influence our capacity at work, with our sexuality, with authority and with our money. Boundaries enable us to know when we want to say yes, when to say no, what self-respect is and when our own needs start and when they end. You do not have to go against your boundaries just to please others, instead, other people should learn about your boundaries and respect them in order to be with you. If someone cannot respect your boundaries it is a good idea to let that person.
Sometimes we have to set boundaries with people, which at times can be hard to do especially if you are people-pleaser. To deal with the shifting nature of creating a true relationship between us and the people we care about, we tend to commit to rigid boundaries or we don’t commit to any at all. People with rigid boundaries tend to win conflicts but loses mutual respect and affection in their relationships. On the hand, people who are accommodating and flexible tend to be considered weak and extremely nice and as such other people tend to take advantage of their nature.
Self-respect and boundaries not only shield us from getting offended and eventually giving up, they also save us from being used and being a doormat.
If you are treated unfairly or made uncomfortable by how other people treat you, then you should consider resetting your boundaries to a more secure level. It is important to remember that weak boundaries leave you vulnerable and at risk of being taken for granted by others. A healthy self-worth will produce clear cut boundaries, which will demonstrate that you deserve respect and to be treated well. These boundaries will protect you from exploitative individuals and will enable you to avoid getting too close and personal with people who do not treat you well or have your interests at heart.
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